The Exact Moment, Sam Puckett, Lost Her Mind
by AussieHill
Summary: "I wanna know, when you started to like me." Sam's answer had been short and subtle, but if Freddie only knew the truth..


**AussieNote: First off, I know I should be updating iHate You, Honey. I'm sorry! **

**Secondly, This is set in Sam's point of view, remembering the past. iOMG, iLost My Mind, and iDate Sam and Freddie have all happened, this is just her thoughts on events prior to iOMG.**

**Anyway, I was pretty disappointed with Sam's answer of when she started to like Freddie in iDate Sam and Freddie and I wrote this to make things better for myself. I also felt that in iOMG, it didn't explain why she was suddenly so much nicer to Freddie just because she liked him. As a Seddie fan, I thought they had feelings for each other waaaay before iOMG. "In-Love" entails a greater length of time in my opinion.**

**So this story is to fill the gaps that in my mind, felt huge. **

**I hope you enjoy it. As always, I love your opinions so let me know.**

The question was expected of course. Who wouldn't want to know when their torturer had a complete change of heart, liking their victim rather than planning their daily embarrassments?

The question wasn't simple to answer. I replied with a specific time and date, and even claimed he 'looked kinda cute.'

I wouldn't necessarily say that was untrue. It's just, I realized a long time ago my feelings for Freddie ran a lot deeper than him 'being kinda cute.'

I've heard this quote though, "Whoever cares the least, controls the relationship." and I desperately want that to be me. So instead of explaining in great detail to Freddie, the very reason I began to like him, I jokingly agreed it was worth his hearing loss.

This, is the real story of how I, Sam Puckett, found myself by losing my mind.

I guess we could say it started with the kiss. But I'm not entirely sure that's accurate. I'm sure each of you, at least once, had that one kid who argued with you about everything. Granted, I usually had the upper hand, but we argued none the less.

Before Carly came around, I wasn't exactly Ms. Popularity. I had a lot of more free time to work out my anxieties by pushing kids' faces into the sand or stealing their ice-cream money. Most kids learned early on, not to fight back, the beating wasn't as bad.

Then Freddie Benson moved to Seattle half way through the year. He sat in the desk in front of me and I remember the fluffiness of his hair bugged the hell out of me. That along with his perfect posture and that right hand that jumped into the air between our teacher's every breath…

I kicked his seat from behind every time the teacher would turn around, I through glue-covered spit balls into his fluffy hair and 'spilled' a water bottle in his seat when he left for the bathroom.

Freddie ignored it all with class, so it seemed.

We were released for recess when it happened.

I had pushed Gibby down and was reaching for the quarters his mom packed away in his pocket when someone grabbed my arm from behind.

"What's the matter with you?" I recognized that high pitch voice from class. It sounded slightly out of place as I had grown used to its respectful, suck-up tone apparently reserved for our teacher.

I spun around glaring at Freddie, though he looked more concerned than scared.

"Bully's aren't as tough as bones, they really only feel alone." Freddie's mom's first rhyme in my life.

"We could go swing?" He asked, smiling at me gently.

I considered it. No one had asked me to swing before. My heart beat up in excitement, but I swallowed back the feeling.

"With a nub like you?" I spat.

Freddie's eyebrows crinkled in slightly.

"What's a nub?"

We walked to the swings slowly, me tripping him, him yelling at me. Days passed as I insulted him continuously and he slowly came up with a few comebacks. I pushed him off the swings daily, my picking on the others decreased as my time with Freddie increased.

"You know, they say if a girl constantly rips on a guy, it really means she likes him."

That one came on the swings towards the end of the year and I remember my palms sweating as they tightened around the chains of the swings. The idea was officially planted in my head and I hated every second of it.

"Good thing I wasn't ripping on a guy, I was ripping on you."

I would use the same comeback years later, and he would wrinkle his eyebrows the same way.

_You know, they say if a girl constantly rips on a guy, it really means she likes him._

The words never really left my head.

-x-

I guess another significant thing would be the kiss, or more so the hour before the kiss.

Freddie hadn't been coming to school and I had a deep, gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Guilt wasn't something I'd ever felt before, and it surely wasn't easy to recognize.

But it was there, running deeper and sicklier than any other feeling had ever before and I knew I had to do something.

Running my fingers through my curls and taking several, calming breaths, I had crawled out the window to the fire escape expecting the worse.

I suppose that kiss was an unwanted confirmation.

I liked him. Really, really liked him.

It was unwanted then, because it felt impossible to act on. I felt self-destructive in so many ways.

-x-

Then, he became a hero.

He had saved the single most important person in my life, my best friend.

While Carly stood back in shock, calling an ambulance. I sat on the asphault, holding his unconscious head in my lap, stroking the hair away from his eyes.

"Please be okay, Freddie. Please." I had whispered. "I need you."

I left when Freddie and Carly -who had been knocked down, but the paramedics still insisted she come- were carried away in the ambulance.

Feeling weak I grabbed the only source of comfort I knew –food- and ran full speed to the first person I could think of.

"Freddie's hurt!"

Ms. Benson's jaw dropped as I busted through the locked door.

"A taco truck," I strangled for a breath, from running, "Carly was there," wheeze, "Hit him!"

She slowly stood up, looking horror-stricken.

"No- I'm not chizzing you, Crazy! Get your butt down to the hospital!" I yelled, running across the hall to give Spencer the same news.

-x-

Carly went into hero-phase, falling "in love" with him over night.

I kept my nose out of it, knowing deep down Freddie and I never belonged together anyway.

After countless conversations with Carly about what a hero Freddie was, I realized she didn't really like Freddie for being Freddie.

"Jealous?" Freddie had taunted, when I tried to tell him this.

My beautiful, witty reply?

"Ew."

-x-

Everything changed a month ago.

"I swear Freddie and Sam have _something _going on." Wendy had whispered, not realizing I was walking behind her in the crowded hallway.

"You know he's the one who won that School-at-Sea thing?"

"I thought that icky Missy girl had won that?"

"I heard Missy had been messing with Sam, trying to steal Carly away from her or something, so Freddie gave it to Missy anonymously so she'd leave. Isn't that the sweetest thing you ever heard?"

"That was like two years ago though! They hated each other!"

Wendy laughed. "Have they ever _really _hated each other?"

My heart's acceleration had made me feel sick to stomach. I stopped in my tracks so quickly, the kid behind me ran into me. I spun around to find him looking up at me in fear and then surprise as I mumbled a "Sorry," and hurried past him.

I ran up to Freddie's locker, where he and Carly stood, laughing.

"That's like the time- Oh. Hey Sam." Carly said, turning to smile at me. "You usually don't stop at lockers before fourth period. Forget something?"

"Yeah." I said, studying Freddie's face closely.

He stared at me, slightly worried, slightly confused.

"Is this you setting up a new prank?" Freddie asked warily.

I wanted so badly to hug him, to kiss him, to thank him.

I wanted to tell him exactly how I felt, but I knew I would sound insane.

I hated him so much for making me feel this way, a feeling I'm sure other –rational- people would call love.

And, there it was. He only saw the prankster, the blonde-headed demon, the same vicious girl from so many years ago and I wanted him to see me as so much more than that.

Being the infuriating person I was could get exhausting and lately was all work, no benefit. So it was then that I decided, I was going to have to be nicer for my own sanity. If there was _any _hope in him seeing me as anything more than what he saw me as now.

"I'm going to be late." I said suddenly, not bothering to fake remembering what I had "forgotten" to get.

"Bye Carls, Freddie." I said nodding at them as I walked by.

"Bye Princess Puckett." I heard him mumble.

I had thought, maybe there was hope after all.

-x-x-x-x-x-

**Fade in iOMG. **

**Love you guyssss. –Aussie.**


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